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Why arranged marriages still reign supreme in India
As a westerner who married into an Indian family, I have lived through the full arranged marriage experience.
What stands out to me is that the institution of marriage in India is the cultural keystone that bridges across Indian families. Families may differ with their particular religions or traditions, but in every case the arranged marriage is recognized equally.
Taking that into account, the arranged marriage approach is still the most favored even by young people, even over love marriages. The arranged marriage and love marriage decision are not necessarily mutually exclusive. These days one can have a love marriage that is arranged, as was my case.
A common misconception to clear up, particularly for westerners, is that an arranged marriage is by no means a forced marriage. Sometimes it is a forced marriage, and sometimes an arranged marriage will fail as well. There is no silver bullet in the world of marriage.
In my experience the arranged marriages are the opposite of forced. I think of it as the arranged marriage as being the helpful forcing-function to help a young couple to thrive and stay married.
Anybody who has been married will recognize these universal truths about marriage. In each case, the arranged marriage proves beneficial in supporting each truth.
Marriages are tough
The transition to living with a life partner will never be smooth at all times. When challenges arise, the more support one has from both sides of the family, the better the outcome.
Live-In relationships can never replicate the actual marriage environment
There is no ceremony, no skin in the game, for a live-in relationship. It is very much a nothing-to-lose situation. It is hands-off from family. In that way it is similar to western-style marriages. For that reason the decision about whether to continue living together will be skewed toward giving-up. That goes straight back to the first point.
Marriage is an evolution
Marriage, built to last. “Til death do you part” is the motto. That notion of being together, forever…
